Building Positive Self-Talk
- Priscilla Schwartzman
- Jun 25
- 4 min read
Updated: Sep 4
What You’ll Learn
How inner dialogue influences self-worth and emotional wellbeing
Why Gestalt and CBT-based practices support self-awareness
Practical steps to shift negative self-talk into compassionate self-talk
How therapy can help reframe long-held internal beliefs
Your inner voice is one of the most powerful influences in your life. It shapes how you see yourself, how you believe the world sees you, the choices you make, and how you respond to the world around you. When that voice carries kindness and encouragement, it nurtures your confidence and resilience. But too often, self-talk turns negative, echoing harsh criticism or unproductive fear.
The good news? Positive self-talk is something you can cultivate with practice and intention.
This week, we’re exploring how reframing your inner dialogue can transform your mental well-being, inspired by practices from Gestalt therapy and CBT. By recognising the power of your words and taking actionable steps, you can build a mindset rooted in self-compassion, confidence, and growth.
"You are not your thoughts. You are the awareness behind them." Peter Crone
A Micro-Moment of Self-Acceptance
Arms raised, smiling wide, you take up space in a way that feels bold and free. There’s no holding back. No one to impress. Just the lightness of a moment fully claimed. In that radiant energy, you feel it clearly: kindness toward yourself isn’t weakness. It’s Power. And you deserve to feel proud.
This is the shift. This is the work. Letting your inner voice soften, even sparkle.
Replacing doubt with encouragement, criticism with curiosity, and self-judgment with care.
Choosing to say, “It’s okay to feel good about who I am.”
Why Positive Self-Talk Matters for Mental Wellbeing
Imagine if you spoke to a friend the way your inner critic sometimes speaks to you. Would it strengthen their spirit or dim it? Your internal dialogue operates the same way. The words you use impact how you feel, what you believe about yourself, and how you approach challenges.
Negative self-talk can stir feelings of shame, defeat, or disconnection. It might sound like, “I’m just not getting this,” or feel like a weight that pulls you away from your own potential. Often, it’s not just about one bad day, it becomes a background hum that colours everything.
Gestalt therapy teaches us to become aware of the present moment and our immediate experience. Often, negative self-talk is habitual. Something we inherited, rehearsed, or unconsciously learned. But when we pause to notice it, we open space for a different response. One rooted in awareness, curiosity, and choice.
Positive self-talk, especially when practiced consistently, builds resilience. It reminds you of your capacity, honours your effort with warmth, and allows space for imperfection. Over time, it becomes a supportive companion, helping you meet life's ups and downs with greater ease.
Reframing Negative Inner Dialogue
Reframing helps transform unhelpful thoughts into balanced, supportive perspectives. It’s not about pretending everything is fine. It’s about learning to respond with understanding instead of self-judgment.
Here’s how to begin:
Notice the Thought
You might hear yourself say, “I can’t get anything right.”
Pause and Reflect
Ask yourself: Is this true? Is it kind? Is it useful?
Reframe the Thought
Try: “It’s okay to make mistakes along the way. I’m still learning”
These shifts may seem small, but they pave the way for new patterns.
Try This Reframing Exercise for Negative Self-Talk
Take a few moments today to tune in to your thoughts:
Grab your phone or a small notebook.
Write down one critical or unkind thought you notice.
Pause. Breathe. Then reframe it into a more balanced version.
For example:
Original: “I should have done better.”
Reframe: “I did what I could at the time.”
The more often you do this, the more natural it becomes.
How Therapy Can Support Positive Self-Talk
Therapy offers a safe, supportive space to explore your inner dialogue and shift long-standing patterns. Working with a counsellor or psychotherapist can help you unpack where your self-talk comes from, recognise when it’s no longer serving you, and develop tools to create a more compassionate inner world.
With support, you can begin to understand the emotional roots of your inner critic including where it formed, how it’s protected you, and how it may be holding you back. Therapy also helps you practice new ways of relating to yourself, moment by moment. You don’t need to do this alone.
Whether you're attending online counselling, telehealth sessions, or in-person therapy, this process is uniquely yours. It's about learning to hear your own voice clearly and choosing to speak with care.
Key Takeaways
Self-talk shapes your confidence, choices, and emotional state
Reframing negative thoughts fosters self-compassion and resilience
Gestalt therapy helps bring awareness to habitual internal patterns
Therapy offers space to explore your inner voice and shift it with care
Small mindset shifts, practiced regularly, can lead to lasting change
Journal Prompt to Support Your Inner Voice
What is one kind phrase I need to hear today?
Let it arise gently. Then say it to yourself like you mean it.
FAQs: Building Positive Self-Talk
Q: Why is self-talk so important to emotional wellbeing?
A: The way you speak to yourself shapes your beliefs, emotions, and responses. Supportive self-talk builds confidence and resilience, while critical inner dialogue can contribute to shame and low self-worth.
Q: How does therapy help change negative self-talk?
A: Therapy provides tools to become aware of your internal dialogue, explore where it comes from, and develop new, more compassionate ways of responding. Gestalt and CBT-based practices can be especially helpful in this work.
Q: Can I really change the way I speak to myself?
A: Yes, with practice. Shifting self-talk is a process, not a quick fix. But small, consistent changes in how you respond to your thoughts can reshape your inner landscape over time.
Q: What if I need support shifting my self-talk but don’t know where to begin?
A: That’s a common place to start. If you’re finding it hard to change your inner dialogue on your own, working with a therapist like Priscilla can offer guidance and space to explore your patterns without judgment. Through warm, evidence-based support, therapy can help you rebuild your relationship with yourself from the inside out.
Continue the Journey
If today’s reflection spoke to something within you, you’re not alone. Rising Phoenix Counselling offers a place to explore your inner world with care, clarity, and kindness.
Let’s stay connected. Follow @RisingPhoenixCounsellingAu on Instagram, Facebook or Youtube for calming prompts, emotional insight, and weekly inspiration.
